I am determined…

29 Mar

… to not look like a fatty for my trip to Germany. I am visiting in June for Sebastian’s graduation. At his college, the school sponsors a mass, a graduation ceremony, a formal dinner, a dance party and a brunch the following morning. Talk about graduation weekend extravaganza. Apparently graduating is like Christmas (or they just have ridiculous amounts of money to spend on it). Even though my graduation was less exciting, I am thankful for the simple ceremony and dinner with my family. I’m getting a little stressed about the weekend, and it isn’t even for me.

Archery at Camp Whitewood

Please tell me why I thought I used to be fat. I dream of looking like this now. (Archery class at 4-H camp)

I know I shouldn’t be stressing, but I feel there is some pressure (being the outsider from America) to look good. I shouldn’t flatter myself thinking everyone will be looking at me, but when you’re in an unfamiliar country, with people speaking a language you barely know, you want to look and feel great.

Anyway, I now have several outfits to buy for the graduation occasion (including a formal gown), and I refuse to be the chubby American. Let’s make something clear, not every German is skinny and fit (even though it sure seems that way sometimes). I remember seeing a few overweight folks during my last trip, but no one who was truly obese. It must be in their genes. My boyfriend smokes (he’ll eventually quit), eats rolls for breakfast, doesn’t work out (except for the occasional soccer game) and yet, he’s tall, fit and I hate him. Alright, I don’t hate him, but I do think it’s disgusting how he doesn’t gain weight.

So now with this upcoming trip, I’m evaluating my body. I honestly don’t consider myself fat, but this is the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life. It’s crazy what moving home with the rents, starting a new job and dating someone 4,000 miles away will do to your body. But at the end of the day, these are all just excuses. One excuse after another allowing myself to get wider. I stepped on the scale today and was slightly mortified. Wake-up call!

It’s time for a serious change. And I think I finally feel motivated to make it happen. My mom has been doing Weight Watchers and has already lost 20 pounds. Go Tami! Seeing her take control is really inspiring, and I’m ready to do the same. It won’t be easy, and I’m sure I’ll have bad weeks, but progress doesn’t come without hard work. So here are my goals:

  • Try to eat healthier with smaller portions
  • Work out at least four nights a week
  • Lose 15 pounds by May 31

Wish me luck! And now I’m off to work out.

3 Responses to “I am determined…”

  1. ifxthencambridge 04/01/2011 at 8:44 pm #


  2. G-race 04/09/2011 at 8:48 am #

    Good luck MJ! I know you will hit your goal! Mom has inspired me too. :)

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